“You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one” -Unknown

 

My youngest daughter pushed the button on her college applications this morning.  I felt so many different emotions …relief for her, pride in her, anxiety in the unknown, and a sadness for the loss of her.  Her whole life flashed before my eyes.  I began missing her before she was gone.  With my first daughter I didn’t know what the reality of college would bring.  Now I do.

I am so proud of my baby.  Of all that she has done and all that I know she will do.  And best of all, she is proud of herself.

It is a melancholy thing watching your children grow.  It is a mixture of emotions that can send me straight into the closet to have a good cry.  When they succeed, when they fail, when you can feel them still growing.  It’s a continuous process of them moving away.  I remember when my older daughter walked for the first time.  She walked away from me and I remember thinking, “Well here we go”.  I knew then that it was a series of goodbyes.  A pride, a happiness and a sorrow blended into one big emotion.

Being a mother is the best job I’ve had.  I’ve given it my all.  I have no desire to retire from this position.  At the most I will be working on a part-time basis.  I will be looking ahead and looking back.  I am looking forward to the next chapter of my life but I will never tire of re-reading their childhood.  I will move on because they have moved on, once again sending me into unchartered territory.